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White Park

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" The end of a perfect day. Well, a perfect week. My weekend was a good one for the first month of the year. My work week was smooth and rather enjoying, working with people I respect instead of those that I ignore. Not that many came in to the store, so it went rather slow as well as the short amount of hours I got. I could complain, but I have enough money to have at least one week of small hours. Saturday, my friend came over from Maine to hang out with me. I invited him over to the small lunch with a group of friends that happens once a month in the city. It was his first time with them and he blended right in. I saw my friend in which I haven't seen in two to three months and finally gave her the late Christmas present I promised her.

" The next day, I got together with an old friend of mine. I haven't seen her in half a year. The last time I saw her was the day when we were caught under the umbrella while there was a huge downpour. It was a week before her wedding to a wonderful guy. I haven't spoken to her for a long time, thinking that I shouldn't be part of her life anymore because she is now married. Her and I have a long history together, a "taboo" kind. She loved me, I loved her but she was always with a boyfriend. Things became difficult the more we embarrassed each other until we went our separate ways. Sunday was the day in which we caught up.

" She hasn't really changed that much. She still reminds the same "child" as before. The only things that are different is her hair color, her job and that expensive ring on her finger. We hung out at Uno's after my work shift just to have something to nibble on and catch up. A lot of things have happened to us between those several months and we had many stories to share. Hearing about her new life is kind of interesting. She is still young so it is interesting to hear what it is like being married before the age of 25. I asked her about children, and she said that her pet Miso is the only child she will ever have until later in life.

" However, some things didn't really change. Now and then, we both had trouble looking into each other's eyes. That feeling still linger inside both of us; that yearning for each other still swims in our hearts after being dormant for a long time. I told her that I haven't really been thinking about her that much as I was "trying" to move on. However, she said that I show up a lot in her dreams and thoughts. I blushed at that. I never thought that I could be inside someone's dreams and thoughts for a long period of time without communication for months.

" After Unos, we walked the night streets of Boston and went into the Public Gardens. It was covered with snow, the lights from the trees and lamps reflected off of the snow, which gave the park a mellow white glow. The pond was frozen and we saw people playing on it as well as playing hockey on the surface. We saw a couple building a snowman as we walked along the shoveled walk paths. We both felt bad because we didn't bring our cameras to take a picture of the park. During the walk, we bonded a little closer. We held each other's hands as we took our time walking about. We sat down on the bench and remained silent. It was hard for any of us to really speak our minds because we still both loved each other, even though we cant. Several times, she said she felt stupid for thinking about me in "ways" that a wife shouldn't think about, but I told her that I did not mind and gave her a hug. I too was thinking about our secret past together and kept my lips form touching her skin. We are too shy and quiet, but our body language spoke out everything that was on our minds.

" It was getting colder so we went to a pub nearby to get warm and relax. We continued to talk about our past and what we missed most. I remember telling her:

'Our bodies have needs and it pushes us to get them. But our hearts know what it right and wrong and what is best. What we want is to fill that craving that our bodies need, but we have to go with our hearts on this, no matter how much it hurts.'

" In my mind, I was thinking that was a load of crap and I wanted to bring her home with me and snuggle with her. She wanted that too, but she couldn't, not anymore. We both smiled at each other and continued to laugh over silly jokes we passed back and forth.

" It was getting late and we went to the nearest T stop to go home. She lived on one line while I lived on the other, so we both had to take different trains to get home. When her train came first, I gave her a hug and watched her get on. There was a moment, a spilt second moment in which she gave me a small glance to me before the train vanished into the tunnel. I saw that look like it lasted forever. I felt sadness when she gave me that glance. I knew what she was thinking, how she was feeling because I was thinking and feeling the same thing. My mind was filled on thoughts about her as I rode my train home. We are planning to see each other again another time, but that one meeting was magical to me. Everything about her is magical and I dont want to loose her as a friend.

" Love is complicated. The boarder between friend and lover is thin, but that is only with someone in particular you care for to no end. I respect her husband and her, so I cant do anything that expresses my feelings to her except draw them out and hide them deep in my sketchbook. I only wish to find someone like her one day, someone that I can share my life with. Being single and lonely sucks, but looking for love is a journey. "

- Ookami Kemono

White Park © 2009 Alex Cockburn
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© 2009 - 2024 o-kemono
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sweepofdeath's avatar
"Being single and lonely sucks, but looking for love is a journey"
words i could not go without, it sucks.. but the adventure is so worth it