It is Sunday, one out of two days that is dedicated to you. You do not have to worry about work or anything else, but to try to find ways in order to relax. But then, you find yourself upon the bed with the TV running dribble programs, snack wrappers and empty plates on the ground, one or two soda bottles resting within arm's reach, your bed unmade and you are still in your PJs. You find yourself having no motivation to do anything because of your lack of company.

Next to you is your cell phone, folded and facing you. in the back of your mind, you await a phone call from a friend who wishes to hang out with you or for you to come over. Now and then, you eye that phone to see if it is on or is you have it on silence mode. Now and then, you pick up your phone and you skim through your small list of contacts, wondering if you should call one of them and see if they want to hang out. But in some way, you know that they are already doing something: hanging out with other friends or at work. So you drop your phone and continue to wait.

While you wait, you feel like you are not the type of person to hang out with. You suffer from social problems and verbal communication. You have had trouble with that all your life. You cant seem to be as open as you want to be and you cant seem to have anything intelligent to say to others except stupid child-ish jokes and small talk that has no interest in continuing. You feel like you are not interesting to hang out with or even to invite over. You feel like you are nothing but a fifth wheel, a "back-up" person that someone calls just to fill in a seat.

You are a person who enjoys the company of others. You fee like you are part of something when you are in a gathering. You feel connected and even more important, excepted. When you are in a group, you feel the need to branch out, to be yourself...But sometimes you fear of showing that off because that is when people really start to judge you.

So you just lay there, watching dribble on Tv, too lazy to go out or to even change into anything other than your PJs. You are alone with your worst enemy all day: your thoughts.

i cant really say anything positive about this because I have a connection to this image. Its like looking through a mirror and seeing something you do not wish to see...

- Ookami Kemono

Lonely Sunday © 2007 Alex Cockburn