"... It's time to go to my parents house - my family who thinks they know all about me, their son. They don't. I don't tell them everything. I wish I could, but doing so would cause drama and so many issues that I can't possibly handle in my life right now. They don't know of my transformation: Male to Female transsexual. I have been taking pills for a long time and I now have grown well developed breasts. I can't put bras on when I see them. They would notice the strap lines as well as the roundness of my chest. I would wear a thick sweater, but its no where near winter yet and they would still show. I don't regret my new growth or the years I spent taking the pills to transform into what I want to be, so the only option I have is to bind my chest as tightly as I can with medical bandages, sometimes with a combination of duct tape I have to buy a bulk of rolls because they are one use only. It's like wearing a corset that makes your chest as flat as possible. On top of wearing this stupid bandage, I have to wear boy clothes, down to the underwear. This makes me even more uncomfortable.
Its hard to breathe with this bandage on and I can't flex my torso as much as I want to. In the end, I get burns and bruises from the tightness of the bandage. Sometimes my damage my ribs. I sometimes lock myself in the bathroom when seeing my parents and remove the construction from my chest. I only manage to get a good few breathes of air before I have to put it on again and walk out - continuing to act like a male instead of the female I want to be.
There will be a time when I can no longer hide it, but since my parents are so ego driven and thick skulled, I can't tell them anything. For now, I will be the "son" they love instead of the "daughter" I wish to be... "
Concealing The Truth © 2011 Alex Cockburn